By Perjury
by ilovenascar
Summary: Connie processes Mike's near death experience. Mike/Connie


Fic Title: By Perjury

Author: I Love NASCAR

Fandom: Law and Order, Mike/Connie

Date: January 2009

Feedback: Constructive criticism or positive only, please

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply.

Summary: Aftermath of By Perjury. Connie processes Mike's near-death experience.

Dedications: Thanks to cmaddict for reading it over for me.

Connie Rubirosa headed down the stairs of the courthouse, an uneasy feeling in her heart. She and Mike had done what they started to do and, while justice for three murders hadn't exactly been served, at least she knew that the murderer would not make any profit from his crimes. That helped soothe her conscience slightly, although she still worried about Mike. Although they always fought hard for their cases, Mike had put himself and almost everyone around him through hell lately. He'd infuriated Lupo, cost himself a thousand dollars for contempt of court, and she knew his talk with Jack hadn't been good. Martin Winston, the defendant, was equally stubborn, but much more dangerous. Although Mike talked a big game, she knew him well enough to know he would never kill anyone when things weren't going his way. Winston would and had, three times. She was a little nervous about going downstairs alone, not knowing where Winston was, Mike and the cops not being with her. She didn't start to panic, however, until the flood of people came pouring down the stairs.

"What happened?" She asked, trying to keep her eyes from becoming big as they did when she was scared, trying to keep her voice level. The people were panicked enough; they didn't need a riot on their hands.

"Gunshot upstairs, lady. On the seventh floor. They told everyone to go downstairs," A man said, picking up his son to avoid letting him get trampled.

"Mike," she whispered, instantly knowing what she hadn't wanted to let herself admit. Mike was still on the seventh floor…with a murderer. The only two people there to help him if something went wrong, which it obviously had, were two cops he'd berated only days earlier.

The man she'd been talking to tried to stop her as she started making her way upstream, fitting through tiny spaces, sometimes getting knocked into, almost knocked down, for her trouble. Two bailiffs at the top of the stairs were trying to usher everyone down safely and were not happy to see one come back up. "Ma'am, you'll have to go back down. You'll be safe…"

Connie shook her head. "No, no, you don't understand." She tried to find the words to explain both the situation and what Mike was to her. "I left someone up here."

"He's probably gone downstairs, ma'am. C'mon, I'll walk you down." One of them started to take her arm but she moved away, moving past them, starting off in the way that she'd seen Mike go after the hearing.

She remembered the gentle way he'd touched her arm when he'd told her he'd meet her downstairs. He had gotten angry, short-tempered, with everyone else involved in the case, everyone but her. "Mike," she whispered, again, trying to push the fear away, trying to convince herself it was nothing.

There were two officers helping at the elevator, the one she was still hoping Winston had taken. There could be a thousand reasons why a gun would go off in a courthouse, a hundred different people who were mad at someone at any given time. It didn't mean the shooter was Winston. It didn't mean that Mike was in trouble. So why couldn't she rid her heart of the fear she felt? There was a police officer outside the men's restroom who spotted Connie and the bailiff from the stairs that had followed her, not quite catching her, wanting to see where she went as well. Connie flashed her ADA credentials, knowing it probably wouldn't do any good. "What happened?"

"Attempted murder of one of yours." He meant a prosecutor, never dreaming how accurate his statement was. "Two cops are in there with the suspect." He stood in front of the door. "You cannot go in there, ma'am." His words were as stern as his tone was respectful.

Mike Cutter, Cyrus Lupo, and Kevin Bernard all heard Connie's voice outside and Mike closed his eyes. "I'll go talk to her," Lupo volunteered, Mike nodding in reply as Bernard started to handcuff Winston, pinning him between the wall and his large frame.

Connie was slightly relieved when she saw Lupo exit the bathroom with no blood visible. "She's with us," he told the other cop. "She's the ADA's partner." The cop hesitated, but nodding, stepping aside.

"Is Mike hurt?" She asked, fearing the worst, her fears relieved when she saw Mike standing there, Winston handcuffed, and the hole in the ceiling where the gun had gone through.

Winston had a smug look on his face that Connie didn't understand, not until he finally spoke. "I'll get out of this. I always do. I'll come back. You can't get away with any of this."

"Shut the hell up," Bernard barked at him, starting to move Winston out of the bathroom.

Winston looked one more time at Mike and then at Connie for far longer than either prosecutor cared for. "I'll come back."

Lupo watched his partner walk Winston out before turning his attention back to Mike and Connie. "There's no way," he said, referring to Winston's threat.

Connie nodded, brushing a strand of hair and then crossing her arms. "Thanks," she spoke softly, a little in shock herself. "Thanks for everything."

He nodded, his hand outstretching to lead her and Cutter out, already having decided to let Bernard deliver Winston while he protected the attorneys, at least until they were safely back at Hogan Place. Connie walked closely to Mike, who still hadn't said a word. She found herself in a new position: unable to argue with Mike solely because he wouldn't argue back. She couldn't even find it in herself to be angry with him right then, although she knew her anger was back there somewhere simmering, or to blame him, hoping he'd learned his lesson but knowing he hadn't.

*****  
Lupo parked right in front of Hogan Place, watching Mike get out, still not speaking, not from anger but from shock. Connie watched Mike stand there, waiting for her, and then put her arm on Lupo's shoulder. "Thank you." She repeated again, biting her bottom lip softly. "I know…I know Mike can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Some of the things he says…"

"Connie," Lupo tried to stop her, seeing she was upset.

"But thank you. For being there. For stopping Winston, protecting Mike…" She thought again about the irony of Mike berating one of the cops who had saved his life only days later.

"It's our job." Although he didn't think Cutter was evil, he didn't quite see what Connie did in him, but knew the same thing could be said about some of the partners he'd worked with over the years.

She nodded. "When Mike feels better, let us take you and Bernard out for pizza and beer. Maybe Friday?" It seemed such a small gesture, but it was all she could think of.

Lupo nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Thank you." He watched her get out and walk with Cutter inside before driving off.

The two friends walked upstairs together, side by side, almost touching, each getting a comfort just knowing the other was near. As the elevator doors opened, Mike turned towards Connie, as if he wanted to say something, but Jack McCoy was there, waiting for them to get in, having already heard what had happened. "Mike, a word."

Connie touched Mike's arm softly, trying to give him a reassuring smile, and then turned to go to her office, not bothering to close the door because only the three of them remained on the floor, not caring enough to reach out and turn on a light. Her mind was running over the panic she had felt when she thought Mike might be hurt, might be dead, and it built up anger in her like one she hadn't experienced in years. She was unsure who she was really angry at: Winston for murdering those people and trying to murder Mike as well, Mike himself for pushing the envelope at every opportunity he was given, or her for giving in not to helping him with the case but for allowing herself to develop these types of feelings for someone she worked so closely with. There was no guarantee, none, that Mike wouldn't infuriate someone else who'd take a shot at him at a time when no cops were around to save him. There was no guarantee that he would be there six months from now…or at this rate, even six days. Worse of all, there were no promises that he knew what he'd done, to himself or to her. Angry and frustrated, scared and confused, she sat down at her desk, burying her head in her arms, and started to cry.

Cutter left Jack's office, thinking to himself about what his boss had said. Jack hadn't started yelling, hadn't lectured, but been worried about him and Connie. Although he'd assured Jack that he was fine and didn't understand why Jack was so worried about Connie, both had received a day off. He knew that he needed to find a way to make it up to Lupo, apologize for what he had said, and thank him for saving his life, but until he walked by Connie's office and heard her crying, he had no idea how much he really needed to make up…and to whom. He'd seen her go through a range of emotions in their time together, but he'd never seen her cry. He was torn between going to her and pretending he hadn't seen anything. He was unsure what he could do to make her feel better and it might embarrass her if she thought anyone had seen, but he was unsure if it was him talking or the way he hated to see her cry. He felt helpless, confused, and scared, just watching, knowing that it was probably very much the same way she had felt earlier that day. Feeling that way himself was horrible, but knowing she was that lost felt even worse. He put aside his comfort and went inside, approaching her cautiously, not speaking until he was halfway in the room.

"Connie."

She looked up, wiping the tears from her dark eyes, not wanting anyone to see her cry. "What did Jack say?"

"He gave us tomorrow off." Only now did he realize why Jack had given Connie a day as well. He searched his mind for the right thing to say, but for the first time in his life, there seemed to be none. "I'm sorry." He wasn't sure what he was apologizing for, just that he should be.

"No, you're not." She looked up at him. "If you could do it over again, would you change anything? Do anything differently?"

He knew she was aware of the true answer and didn't try to cover his thoughts or feelings. "No." He paused, taking a few steps closer. "I'd want to. I know I went overboard with Lupo. I know I should have listened to you so many different times during this whole mess." He paused. "But if we started all over again, I'd still go over Winston just as hard. I'd still get caught up, say things I didn't mean."

"Do you have any idea how lucky you were that they went after you? Any idea what went through my head when I heard that gunshot?" She bit her lower lip, not noticing as Jack left for the evening, her focus on Mike as he sat down in a chair beside her.

"Yes. On both counts." He paused. "I guess that's why I'm really sorry." He took a breath and slowly let it out. "You know I would never purposely do anything to hurt you, right?" He took one of her slender hands in his own larger one.

Connie nodded, taking a breath and letting it out, her eyes focusing on his. "I know."

"Are we okay?" His eyes searched hers, looking for answers, not sure how to read her.

There was silence through the room, so quiet that he could hear the computers running and cars outside driving past. He thought she would never speak and then he heard her voice. "I'm really angry right now."

He nodded, the worried look he got in his eyes sometimes coming back in full force. "I know."

Then came the smile she was famous for, an extra hidden beauty in it that seemed to come out whenever he was around. "But I'll get over it." He allowed himself a small smile as well, mostly from relief, sitting there with her, holding her hand.


End file.
